Harry's Dimensional Spittoon Travels
by Anime Monster
Summary: After the war Harry Potter finds out what the "neither can live" clause in the prophecy actually means. Now immortal he becomes the multi-verse's spit-toon and must travel the cosmos and the inter-dimensional pathways for the rest of eternity.
1. Harry's Dimensional Spittoon Travels

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I own any of the crossovers that this inspires.

Author's Note: This is the prologue for a round-robin. Since does not allow users to set up round-robins the easy way, we get to do this the hard way. Which means the following:

Anyone can post a crossover or non-crossover for this multi-verse and for it to be part of the series all they must do is go to the forum and post a link with the summary and what fandoms you're using (if you're using any besides Harry Potter). Your story can be a drabble, one-shot, or even some epic multi-chapter piece, but at the end you must include Harry leaving the dimension in some way.

Someone do the fandom you wanted? No problem, everything is AU, so there can be another dimension in the multiverse that is the fandom you want. Harry can meet hundreds of Spidermen if you want...he can even meet them all in one dimension.

The rules will be posted on my forum. I invite anyone who wants to, to play with my dimensional hopping Harry.

_**Harry's Dimensional Spittoon Travels**_

Harry didn't find the problem for forty years. That's how long it took him to realize that he didn't look a day over eighteen. "Well fuck," he had said to himself. His kids were grown up, his wife was getting older, entering middle age for witches, and he looked younger than his kids.

So what did Harry do? Well, he found a guru of the mountain.

"Oh great guru," he said. "What's the fuck wrong with me?"

"I don't know, I'm just a guy who sits on a mountain," the guru said. "If you want advice I'd suggest you find religion."

So Harry left the mountain and sought religion. For a further forty years he studied the religions of the world before realizing that religion had no answers for him. So he played with his great-grandkids as even his grandchildren looked older than him.

Eventually his wife died, and Harry was sad, until that night.

"Harry," she said.

"You're dead," he said.

"Well, yes, but I've been allowed to comeback for one night to answer all your questions," she said.

"That's more than a little cliché," he said.

"Well, you are the 'Master of Death', and, apparently, there are a few perks to that title," she said.

"Okay, so why, the fuck, am I still looking eighteen?" he asked, deciding to get the important question out of the way.

"It was a clause in the prophecy," she said. "Trelawney was a hack who was supposed to say something along the lines of, '_the survivor lives happily ever after until natural death_.' Instead she said, '_Neither can live while the other survives_,' and the fates had to follow through. You killed Voldemort now you can live, except it never said you could die."

"So I'm effectively immortal because I defeated Voldemort?"

"Yep," she said. "There are a whole bunch of Really Cool Powers that I'm supposed to grant you at this point, so here's go." She waved her hands and made a pelvic thrust and then glitter flew everywhere.

"That's going to take a lot to clean up," he said.

"Oops? Forgot about the effects," she waved her hand, again, vanishing the glitter. "There, tons of Really Cool Powers are now yours."

"So what am I supposed to do with these powers?"

"Really Cool Powers, its trademark," she corrected. "And you're supposed to travel the multi-verse and have fun."

"What is the multi-verse?" he asked.

"We, or rather, you, don't live in a universe. A multi-verse is many universes all intersecting," she said. "One of your Really Cool Powers is the ability to travel the multi-verse unaided. Just think of a destination, and boom, you're off. Sorta like apparating. Of course, you can use dimensional travel that is native to the universe in question. I know of hundreds that are connected by a mirror that they call the Quantum Mirror. And another where a little girl's blood is the most powerful inter-dimensional Key ever devised by mortals. There are spells to take you to places far beyond your imagination, and technology, too."

"So I probably should make a Trunk Full of Stuff before leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah, that'd be a good idea. Oh, and don't remain faithful to me, I'm dead, you're alive," she said. "It wouldn't work out for long."

"Alright, so I can have sex again!" he exclaimed. "WOOT!"

"Yep, my job right now is tell you to have fun, meet interesting people, and kill the ones you don't like," she said.

"So are you going to be my shoulder angel?" he asked.

"Nah, that's a job that will be given to someone else, eventually," she said. "I'm here only for tonight."

"Then tonight..." he said with a rather lecherous grin.

"Oh, I like how you think, Mr. Potter," she said, jumping into bed with him.

Weeks went by after his wife's death and her late night visit. He had bought tons of gold, silver, platinum, and precious gems, figuring money might not be the same in dimensions, but gold, silver, platinum, and precious gems could be sold for that dimension's money. He got a large multi-compartment trunk and filled it with all the precious metals and gems, along with books, artifacts, and clothing (can never have too many clothes). He also added weapons and made sure he had room left over for souvenirs.

Then, once he was packed, he shrunk his trunk down to a convenient pocket size and pocketed it. "Okay, that's me packed," he said. He gathered his family for dinner and said, "Well, I'm going off to the Next Great Adventure, take care of everything."

"Gramps, you're insane, you know that, right?" his youngest grandson said.

"Yep, but that's okay, there are millions of places to go, who knows, I might end up in an insane asylum eventually," he said with a smile.

"Well, I suppose this is goodbye?" his oldest daughter asked.

"Yep, probably won't see you guys again," he said. Then after dinner and all the dishes were done they went out to the backyard.

"Bye, kids," he said.

"By dad," his children said.

"By grandpa," his grandkids and great-grandkids said.

Then with a large crack, Harry Potter was gone. Where did he go?


	2. Author's Note

Here is a chapter containing links to all the round robins everyone does (including any I make). This list will be in chronological order from when I got the e-mail that a fic was written. If you want to look at the list by crossover, please visit the forum (www. fanfiction. net/forum/Harrys_Dimensional_Spittoon_Travels/75546/)

June, 2010

Within Your Eyes (Harry Potter/Labyrinth - T - Harry/Jareth) by Subchronis dominus (www. fanfiction. net/s/6022158/1/Within_Your_Eyes)

July, 2010

Sometimes Prophecies Get It Wrong (Harry Potter/Harry Potter/Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - T - Gen) by Supersayingirl (www. fanfiction. net/s/6135604/1/Sometimes_Prophecies_get_it_Wrong)

Left Turn at Albuquerque (Harry Potter/Looney Tunes - K+ - Gen) by Anime Monster (www. fanfiction. net/s/6135915/1/Left_Turn_At_Albuquerque)

The Divine Secrets of Alchemy (Harry Potter/Fullmetal Alchemist - T - Gen) by cmcwriter123 (www. fanfiction. net/s/6167720/1/The_Divine_Secrets_of_Alchemy)

Lucid Hallucination (Harry Potter/Sandman - T - Gen) by Anime Monster (www. fanfiction. net/s/6171358/1/Lucid_Hallucination)


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